if you accidentally misgender someone, or say the wrong name, just correct yourself in the same manner as if you called a cis person by the wrong name or pronouns, which is not unknown because we are all capable of verbal slips.
sometimes i accidentally call people my dog’s name, or i call them “mom”
the right way to do this is “[wrong name], excuse me, [correct name]” or “[wrong pronoun], I’m sorry [correct pronoun]”
if you accidentally mess up someone’s pronouns, do not call attention to it by falling over yourself to apologize.
conversely, do not just move on and hope they didn’t notice. they definitely noticed. not correcting yourself is offensive, and pretending that you didn’t mess up is a form of gaslighting.
if you feel like going the extra mile, apologize the next time you’re alone with them, without excuses. say “I’m sorry that I misgendered you” or “I’m sorry called you the wrong name.”
do not say “it’s so hard, and i keep forgetting! I’m so bad!” trans people hear this over and over, and the message is that they should apologize for being who they are.
if someone close to you has changed their name and/or pronouns, and you’re having a difficult time with it, maybe you should practice at home.